Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Past Due Report on our Everglades Tour

I told Monnina from Ireland that I would write about the post-cruise shore excursion to the everglades. We were gone until today so I am past due on this. Why did we do it? We had 5 hours to kill before our flight home and it included a ride to the airport which would have been about half the price anyway. And it is the best way to beat everyone else off the ship and avoid the horrible lines. Was it worth $69? Hmmm, yes because we got off the ship and... It was more entertaining than sitting in an airport. Would we do it again? Not that one.

We traveled on a nice bus with a friendly tour guide and his side kick driver. When the tour guide introduced himself he tried to introduce the driver (they had this routine down pretty pat) who kept muttering loudly "No Name." They played back and forth like that for the tour. The trip out to the everglades is short - maybe a half hour. Lots of good info though and the "park" is part of the National Park.

Our air boat guide dressed like a renegade park ranger. Somehow the braided rat tail down his back canceled the boyscout colored uniform. He was great. He had a strained raspy voice that sounded like he had to remove some of his vocal chords due to tobacco related cancer surgery. And he had a southern hick drawl that made every comment hysterical. I believed him when he said this was his backyard, especially when I saw the trailers. I didn't believe him when he said to get the big gators to come to the boat I should trail my fingers in the water!

There was an animal show by a guy that does it for schools and although he needed some new clothes and a shave, he did ok. The woman he chose to kiss the toad showed he had lots of experience terrorizing women.

We skipped the "opportunity" to order lunch since it didn't seem like the best roadside venue. Others enjoyed their gator burgers I guess. The tour was short and tacky, but a one time entertaining time-waster. Do it Monnina, just to go home to Ireland with some great pictures and a memory you can laugh about. And to see some Gators with names like "Scarface" and "Tripod".

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