Monday, August 5, 2013

Booklook review: “Marriage 101 for Men: Why Taking Out the Trash is a Turn-On”

This catchy title makes “Marriage 101 for Men” a great addition to a wedding gift basket. I cello wrapped it with garbage bags, a whisk broom, dish soap and fabric softener.
Author Sherri Mills isn’t a marriage counselor or family therapist but she is a hairdresser. After listening to 40 years of women (and men) talk about their marriage problems while she cut and colored, Mills came to a startling conclusion.

“I discovered that men (including my husband) really have no idea the hardships women go through after working a job all day only to come home to another full-time job, one with no time off, no sick leave, and little or no appreciation, understanding, or respect.”

So she decided to write a book to help men with this problem. Of course, this could be a bit tricky since many married males aren’t too interested in reading a book that points out their faults, even if there are some great ideas they could use.

When I asked my married son to read the book and tell me what he thought he responded, “I’m not really interested in reading a self-help book – most guys aren’t.”

I tried my husband next. He just raised his eyebrows and turned to the next page of his Clive Cussler novel.

So how do you overcome this first obstacle? You buy the book, and read parts of it aloud. This can be done in the car when he is trapped, or just before bed. Some passages are sure-fire conversations starters.

Chapter one begins, “Let’s start with a blunt message that speaks directly to your interests. What you need and what your wife needs. How the two differ and how they can be achieved through the same action on your part. This book will give you the game plan for mastering that surprisingly elusive, permanent win-win solution for both you and your wife: great sex and a great life together.”

All women know that a man who helps cook dinner, wash dishes, and put children to bed has a better chance of igniting that romantic spark, than the guy who comes home from work and turns on the TV. This little book may help you communicate some of these facts to your clueless spouse.

I appreciated Mills including martial research information, actual stories from her clients and personal experiences. The Fair Marriage Contract comes with permission to photocopy and may be helpful to those who like it to be in writing, not just a verbal agreement. If you are a list maker, you will also want to copy the householder chore list at the end of the book