February is the month we think of love and hearts – but if
your heart is broken this is a difficult time of year. I read “Hope after
Suicide” by Wendy Parmley to learn more about how to support and comfort those
who are left behind after suicide and found it very helpful.
In the United States more than 40,000 people a year commit
suicide. How can we support those that have experienced the tragic loss of
losing a loved one? How can we get through this experience if it happens to us
and heal those wounds?
“Don’t let anyone in the bathroom,” her father screamed as
he ran out outside in pajamas. As 12-year-old Wendy sat holding her baby sister
and keeping the other 3 young children away from the closed door, she was not
prepared for the shocking news that her perfect mother had left them.
Most of us have had someone close to us, even in our own
family, who has chosen to end their life. There are many reasons for suicide
and as the author urges, we must never judge or condemn the person who makes
that decision. She learned many years later to forgive her mother who shot
herself in 1975 leaving a husband and 5 very young children to deal with her
violent death.
She wrote, “How could I go on living when my mom, the woman
who gave me life, was gone? How would I grow up and become a mom myself? How
could I ever smile again when I felt like running away…?”
After many years of running away and burying the experience
deep inside, she decided to open her heart and share her story.
The author hopes to encourage other survivors to forgive
themselves and others, open their heart, seek help when needed, and draw closer
to God. Her personal journey is painful to read at times, but her triumph will
give courage to others who are on that same path. One step at a time through
darkness and into the light.
